I'm reaching my breaking point.
There are no big things bothering, but there are a whole lot of little things. It all adds up to make me pretty uncomfortable in my current work environment. It's not to the point where I'm going to just walk out one day (although the thought does cross my mind from time to time), but it's definitely time to start checking out the help wanted ads again. I was looking forward to taking some time off from that after taking this job, but now, just three and a half months later, here I am.
It all starts in the morning. For some unknown reason, our parking lot has been taken over by a large amount of construction equipment. I'm hoping they're going to pave the damned thing, but that doesn't appear to be the case. It seems like they're just digging enormous holes randomly, and shifting piles of stone around. I'm sure it serves a purpose, but no one seems to know what that purpose is. The problem, of course, is that our company shares a parking lot with a couple of other businesses, and the lot is barely big enough for all of us even under normal circumstances. Now a large number of spaces have been eliminated, and finding a spot in the morning can be quite an adventure. This morning I had to park in the furthest corner of the parking lot, on a patch of ice. Of course, it got warmer outside as the day wore on, so the ice was melted by the time I returned to my car in the afternoon. The ice became water, and we have a dirt parking lot, so the patch underneath and around my car had become a nice, soft mud patch for me to trudge through, and my car had also sunk a couple of inches into the lot.
Monday is our deadline for our April catalog, so we were scrambling around today, trying to finish as much as possible. This really makes me crazy. I spent a decent portion of the month without a terrible lot to do, and then everything explodes on the last day before the deadline. I have no idea why this stuff can't be spaced out more evenly. They actually asked me to come in this weekend to get everything finalized. Under normal circumstances I would do it, but this is the first weekend since Christmas that Brandi and I have a chance to go visit my family, so we'll be out of town. After I told them I couldn't come in on Saturday, I just started busting my ass, trying to get as much done as possible before I left. I got most of it, and probably could have gotten all of it if they hadn't spent so much time today making last-minute changes and additions to our pages. I don't understand why they do this. If there's a deadline for when we have to have the catalog finished, I don't think it's too much to ask that there's a deadline for the content to be finalized. I understand that sometimes things come up that necessitate last-minute changes, but the sheer number of them that we were doing this time would be unacceptable if I were in charge.
One of my big pet peeves is the overall lack of communication in our department. Everything seems like such a big secret all the time. A prime example of this is the mystery surrounding my desk exchange. I don't remember how long it was from the time I found out I was getting a bigger desk to the when I actually found out why I was getting a bigger desk, but in all that time, no one told me what was going on. This morning one of my co-workers came in to find that a job opening had been posted, featuring some of her major job responsibilities. No one said anything to her about it, so now she's wondering what's going on. I can't blame her. I don't know why it is such a bother for the departments heads to give us all a heads-up on this sort of thing, but it never happens. It's very irritating.
Perhaps the most troubling thing is that I'm just not making very much money. I knew when I took the job that money would probably be an issue for a while, but I was promised the potential for raises and advancement. Still, from being there this long and listening to people, it doesn't sound like anyone really thinks much of how much they're paid for their work. The bonus we got was definitely nice, but I really need more money on a consistent basis. It's bad enough that I'm barely breaking even after paying rent and bills, but I'm going to need a new car in the not-too-distant future. As of right now, there's no way in hell I could afford one.
Long story short: either something needs to change, or something needs to be done. I do have thoughts, from time to time, of trying to go back to my last job. Of course, that wasn't a great job either, but at least the pay was slightly better. There was really no hope of making more there, though. I really just need to go somewhere else, most likely. I'm not looking forward to looking for a job again, but I don't know right now that I have much of a choice.